Difficult client conversations
Explaining why you won’t be lightening their hair today
By Humankind Hair Co-founder Anneliese Hesse
3 minute read
“I often think that, as a hairdresser, probably the easiest part of my job is actually the doing hair bit. It’s ALL the other things we do that I find way harder; time management, retail, social media and not least of all communication.
This is definitely something that has gotten easier for me over the years - both age and experience have helped - but there are still times when it can be SUPER tricky to navigate.
Often the hardest conversations are the ones where we have to disappoint someone. This is usually when breaking the news that their dream colour isn’t achievable today, or possibly ever. So how to go about it?”
Explaining to your client, with kindness, why you won’t be lightening their hair today
“People often ask me how long they need to wait before I’ll lighten their hair - this is typically after strand testing and consultation have determined that, in my opinion, it’s not a good idea to do it today.
The truth is that there is no quick fix for healthy hair.
Unlike a cut to the skin or even a broken bone, the hair does not regenerate once outside of our heads, as it is already dead. Cell renewal (growth) only takes place below the scalp, so there’s only so much repair that can ever be done to the hair we see. And that’s largely surface level, unfortunately.
No miracle product will completely and structurally fix damaged hair.
No matter the marketing claim, once a certain level of damage has been reached, the only solution is to cut away the damaged hair and begin again.
What's important is to identify the cause of damage in order to avoid a repeat incident. Does your client use heat on their hair? Put more stress on it chemically than it can withstand? Perhaps they are unknowingly handling it roughly, or using excess tension?
Once you've identified the cause(s), it's time to provide solutions. If excess heat is the culprit, then can you recommend an alternative, heat-free styling technique?
Or perhaps you identify the cause as mechanical, and can teach your client how to detangle and handle their hair more gently.
The right change(s) may be enough to allow you to lighten their hair in the not too distant future, then again maybe it won't...
When you really believe the hair would be much better off not being lightened at all, this can sometimes be a tricky conversation to have.
My go to is to avoid saying 'no' at all costs.
When we're told we can't have something, we instantly want it more (hello every dry January I've ever attempted 👋 )
Instead, explain what would happen should you go ahead with the service, and what this would mean to them. For example, 'your hair will lose strength and elasticity from the lightening procedure - this is going to mean it is much more tangly/frizzy/have less definition, be harder to work with at home and quite possibly result in breakage. You won't be able to use your irons without increased risk of breakage and growing it is going to take a whole lot longer'.
I like to educate my clients in this way and then allow them to make the right decision. It is much more empowering for them and keeps you from becoming the 'bad guy', meaning they are more likely to listen, ask for your advice - and take it!”